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Lardass

from 1985 by アロキン

/

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lyrics

I’m that kid on Bad Santa
fat and stupid with no friends
there’s a catch - I’m just retarded flesh
talentless and with a tiny peck
just a heap of trash
will surely end up whining on some
beta uprising Reddit sub.

Restless I stand
blank eyes of a hunted beast
as walls around me all glare
collapsing in thought
as the aisles are glowing
foremost and uttermost I’ll stutter impaired
gravity and distance no longer are fair
I’ll lose, I’ll lie, sure failure of investment.

I feel sorry for myself.

Drenched in sweat
motionless I lie
I don’t believe a word I’ve said
and neither should you.

Smile at me
indottrinate me with a life more convincing
silence the thoughts roaming inside me
annihilate any bodily conception
then what’s left of me
a huge fucking disappointment
that’s it?
what was this big ordeal?
I just had to put some zeal and kneal.

Moaning all the times
over the same fucking things
a heartburn
short breath
a brief tingling in y left arm
loss of hearing
tachicardia
earworms and the mess inside my head
my asshole and a migraine
and the sun just ought to stop.

There’s no need for you here
I’m not what my body and mind tell me
forget anything I said
I won’t remember anyway
mind keeps failing
answering machine full of junk
hey Nick, you lose
keep playing, better luck next time

here’s some Prozac
we call it Citalopram
sometimes Fluoxetine
ass some Deniban
you’ll be okay
and don’t drink as much
it’s bad for you
but you just keep trying.

Fuck, I tried
but to no avail
I’ve kept promises and behaved well
nonetheless I do exist
just as a bacteria
nothing more than feed
and yet / I linger
stutter and mumble
not enough to qualify
as a living human being.

Don’t let me go
don’t let me sink

I / will fail you
I’ve failed the whole world
I’ll curl up and cry
and be no more
I’ve tried, believe me, but it’s never enough
my mind deceives me.

No more mourning
no more pain
no more highs / nor lows
I’ll keep quiet
pretend
to be someone else
everything but me

credits

from 1985, released August 30, 2018

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アロキン Bologna, Italy

Traded childhood memories for corporate warmth. Nostalgic about discontinued produce, consumerist wanna be from 3rd tier economy.

"All I ever wanted was a Pepsi"

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